*Take It From A New 'Bride'

*Day 76 of being the FIANCE of Martel Johnson:

First, I would like to give a standing ovation to the *1ST DAY OF SPRING BABY BABY!!! I am so hype that it is this time of year because I just love this type of weather and I'm so ready to wear colors that just pop=)

Today friends, I would like to share with you from a series of conversations that I have been having lately. For many of you who do not know, three of my closest best friends are brand spanky new Brides and Wifeagers (that's a wife+ manager). I read this new term on twitter and that's right I like it lol.  And while there is so much that I must already take in just as a fiance, I am always curious about the realities of marriage.

Every week, I have been rotating my calls to each one of my married besties.  The sweet part about calling them is that each sister has a totally different outlook on the GIFT of marriage.  For me, I get so excited just to listen to them rather than to learn from them because I truly admire that they have crossed over into the beautiful covenant from the grace and mercy of our Almighty Father.  However, I know that there must be a learning process to being on the phone with them because duhhhhh their married!!! Typically, I bombard them with as many questions as I can but then I realize if I just listen they will naturally unlock the secrets and tell me everything mu hahahahahahahaa (laughing in my count dracula voice). 

Some of the advice that I have been given, I desire to share with other engaged Brides, such as myself, because I believe that I can be naive or too caught up in the moment of everything, as a fiance alone, that I might miss out on the mother of all importance: the high calling of God's covenant marriage. So, soon to be Brides what I am about to share with you is not top secret, but must be lived out as you discern, from the Holy Spirit how, you too, can be a help meet to your soon-to-be husband.

1. Build your husband up to be a Godly man. The Lord has blessed you with a Godly man and there are so many things in the world that will attempt to attack him on a daily basis. They often face pressures of work, relatives and married life in general, and this sometimes causes them to get discouraged. My sister challenged me by saying that the Christian wife should encourage her husband in everything he does and assist him in making the right decisions

 

2. Get rid of the neck-rolling attitude. I know that for me I used to pride myself on being the woman who would take no lip from no one especially when someone would try to tell me what to do and especially if it was a man!  But then Jesus redeemed me and I noticed that this tip is harder to resist than I thought that it would be. So, I learned that I GET TO and I must respect my husband's role as the spiritual leader of our future home. In Ephesians chapter 5, verses 25 to 33, the apostle Paul says the wife is to submit to her husband as unto the Lord. This means that when the husband is loving his wife the way God wants him to, the wife will respect the decisions that her husband makes that will benefit the family. If I am resisting my husband's leadership on a daily basis, I am just asking him not to lead and I am also making him unattractive to leading because I will not humble myself to allow him to! So sisters trade the sayings of, 'You can't tell me what to do or what's wrong with your legs?' to 'love how can I help you? or I am so thankful for the way you lead our home'.

3. Pray for your husband daily. Pray that God will protect your husband from physical danger and any temptations that may lead him in the wrong direction. Also pray that he will have God's wisdom in making crucial family decisions.

4. Make the WORD OF GOD central to your every move in marriage. Every time that I am on the phone with my sister Precious, she constantly spurs me on in the Word of God and urges me passionately to do the same for Martel and I. She teaches me that the Word is no less important when you get married, but that it is the ultimate survival guide to make sure that your marriage is being steered by the one and only true Savior, Lord, and Master of everything in heaven and on earth: Jesus Christ.

5. Remember the Lord will see you as ONE when you are married.  This wisdom just blew my mind in that I am constantly reading Ephesians 5:21-33.

New King James Version (NKJV)

³¹ “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become ONE flesh.”

As my sister was sharing this phenomenal truth with me, I realized that this is the most intimate of GIFTS that the Lord grants between a husband and his wife that I will never be able to understand until I enter the marriage covenant soon (September 15, 2012) Yeah!!! She stated when she goes to her prayer closet, the Lord sees that her and her husband are praying in the praying closet. When her husband has a problem, the Lord sees that both the husband and the wife have a problem collectively. If the wife was thinking about something that the Lord whispered to her and then the husband shares that the Lord just revealed something to him, but he shares that revelation out loud, it's because they are now ONE.  The best part of the GIFT of oneness is that you begin to actually realize how the Lord has designed you for one another. Sweet!

6. Understand that you are uniquely made different even though you are ONE. I really enjoyed hearing this tip from one of my sisters because the Lord knows that I am so totally different from Martel Johnson! However, I was never attracted to men in the past who reflected the same similarities as myself.  But, don't get me wrong there are things that I love about Martel that makes us in sync, but our differences ignite the adventure and spontaneity in us, as a couple. Everyone knows that I am an over the top extrovert, bubbly, crazy, and all get out loud of a person.  But Martel is an introvert, he thinks alot internally, a home body, hard-worker, and loves to use his hands to fix everything.  These differences are so wonderful in us and they are sometimes confusing when we switch our personalities lol.  So, my sister shared that I must accept my husband especially as the Lord has designed him. And ask the Lord to show you how to communicate to your husband your wants and needs because you are different from him and to not get mad at you because he is not a mind-reader that knows absolutely everything about you lol.  

Ok sisters you have a few keys to unlock the beauty of being made to be a supportive wife and help meet to your husband. And start bombarding your married sisters in Christ with questions about marriage, as a fiance because they are truly read to pour into your spiritual wisdom. In fact, reach out to them TODAY. Lastly, don't hoard these treasures or allow them to collect dust. BE PROACTIVE NOW because your future marriage is counting on it!

In Christ with love,

Juzanne, a sinner saved by grace Ephesians 2:8-10*

*The Power of 'Sacred' Friendships*

*Day 75 of being the FIANCE of Martel Johnson:

No one will truly know a true friend unless they have experienced that person from the inside out, especially in their raw and rarest form.

These past two weeks the Lord has been so good to me when it comes to the friendships that He allows me to enjoy, embrace, soak up, and build incredible strength from!!!

During the latter part of last year, the Lord started showing me how it was time for my life to change again and to transition into new areas of adulthood.  I realized from post-college, I had to make some tough decisions regarding my involvement in ministry and serving on the University of Memphis campus.  After those decisions were made, I started to notice a void that I haven't really ever experienced before and that was the void of friendships.  I had to take a hard look at my life to actually see that I really had no solid people around me to build from.  While serving in ministry for 5yrs on campus, I was pouring myself out so much, that I didn't realize how much more that I needed someone to pour into me in the same way that I was radically sharing the glory and testimony of Jesus Christ.  The power of prayer started to grow heavy, and I pleaded with the Lord to help me to 1.Find an older woman of God to disciple me and 2. to develop more Godly women friendships.  And then the writing and planning started to form.  I began to write down every woman of God that I knew in my life that were solid women and then the Lord gave me the solution to my problem: PURSUE.

The Lord whispered into my life that in order for me to enjoy and embrace, an attribute of Himself, which is that He is an relational God, I must PURSUE His people.  So, looking at my list, I realized that there was one woman of God that I truly admired and that I desired to gleam from her life as she followed Christ: Heather Trotter.  I am a big fan of twitter so on Dec 19th I tweeted: 'I am desperately seeking a Godly women to be an older Titus 2 woman for me' and lo and behold Heather tweeted back: 'To whom much is given...much is required. It's my pleasure!' All I have to say friends is Wow!!! Just like that the Lord answered my prayers of an older woman to pour into me. One down and one more request to go.

Heather and I organized our first hangout. On Friday, I went to her house and the wisdom of a Godly older woman such as herself just flowed naturally.  I learned so much in just our first meeting and the freshness of it all was just right.  It seemed like Heather had been in my life all along and I just didn't notice it.  My favorite part about our interaction is that she didn't hold back, she just oozed with the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and she is by no means finished with her sanctification process.  What a joy to experience the God in her! I didn't really realize how much more that I needed Godly friendships until I was challenged by Heather. One of the most important nuggets that she left me with is that I must strive for: 'Sacred' friendships.  I wondered internally what is that? And she described that these are women who are extremely close to me in that I can share my deepest insecurities, to be vulnerable with, to build strength from, and women who will always hold me up to be accountable to the will of God as a Christian woman no matter what. She also described how no one must get in the way of that bond or try to destroy it in any way and that I must protect the sanctity of our friendship.   

Her advice left me with such an ease to start to pursing friendships that are not only solid, but sacred and what a joy my journey has been to develop these relationships even more over the course of three months!!!

*Here are a few snippets of a closer look into the women of God who shape my life daily:

• Precious Elliot (Pic 1): This fiery woman of God came into my life in June 2007, she was one of the very first women who witnessed my life before Christ and after Christ. She was also the very first woman to call me out on my sin of trying to fake like I was a Christian. She is annointed and spirit-filled and has graced my life for years, as a witness for Jesus Christ. She is my absolute other half and I have never met any one as in sync with my life as Precious! She is a newlywed wife to Kevin Smith from Jan 2012 and now she is known as Precious Smith baby baby!!! I love you Presh=)

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• Patrice Jefferson (Pic 2): This little woman with such a big heart for the Lord Jesus Christ came into my life in June 2007 as well when I met Precious. I can literally talk to Patrice about anything and she absolutely cracks me up.  We also came up with our own saying everytime we see each other from a lousy dinner that we had when we attended a Christian program together lol.  She has the voice of an angel of God and will not resist the will of God over her life. She is my favorite sister in Christ.  She is also a newlywed wife who will be celebrating a whole year married to Roy Jefferson April 2012 baby baby! I love you Patrice=)

• Amber Walker (Pic 3): This social bug woman came into my life right along with Precious and Patrice in June 2007. Amber always listened to my crazy stories of my big family and she also laughed right along at my way of life which is being hood lol. She is so intelligent in that she pursued her Masters and she encourages everyone that comes in contact with her.  She is a humble woman of God, my maid of honor for my upcoming wedding and I just love her so much=)

• Jessica Swinger: (Pic 4): Wow what can I say about Jessica!!! God literally lead me to Jessica by His Holy Spirit in August 2008.  After I became a Christian in 2007, I prayed to the Lord to use me for His Kingdom and to allow me to share His goodness to someone else through discipleship.  After having so many random encounters of meeting Jessica on campus, the Lord pushed me to pursue her and I took a risk for the first time in my life, wrote it on an index card, and placed it under her dorm door and ever since then the Lord has taken our relationship on a journey that we both would have never been prepared for.  Jessica became my very first disciple, and I literally could not say for anyone else how the Lord has truly used me to make His life a reality in the life of another sinner saved by grace.  Through our discipleship relationship, Jessica surrendered her life to Christ in October 2008.  Jessica has seen all of my wickedness, my passion, my sin, my servanthood, my vulnerability, my shepherding, and my unwavering zeal to pursue Christ to other women. She is now a Junior at the University of Memphis pursing a bachelors in Exercise Sports Science. She is discipling herself another amazing woman in Christ. And she is growing more intimately with Jesus Christ outside of herself daily.  I love you especially Jessica=) 

• Clara Bright (Pic 5): Oh my sweet Clara, I met her during the Women's Bible study, in 2010, that I lead for five years on the University of Memphis campus.  She started attending my Bible study through another mutual friend of ours Ashley Watkins.  We realized that we are around the same age and how it was just so refreshing to meet someone like that because, at the time when we meet, everyone was younger than us lol. Anyway, Clara and I have been challenging one another to pursue our friendship more this year through a friendship devotional every Tuesday morning. I admire Clara's wisdom and her unwavering faith to stand up for her godly convictions. I love you Clara=) 

• Myisha Drayton (Pic 6): My beautiful bestie Myisha. Now this woman of God smelled like the aroma of Jesus Christ long before I would hear the unconditional love of a Savior who truly saved me in 2007. During my very 1st year of college in 2005, I met Myisha, along with another one of my good friends Kesia Merriweather, at orientation.  We instantly clicked and became each other's roaddogs quickly. Myisha embodied an old spirit but an annointed spirit of God more than anything. She became everyone's favorite granny to be a college student lol. Myisha truly showed the love of Christ through her life for me even though she knew that I was not a Christian. Myisha never rejected me, but loved me warmly, she did my hair, we watched my fave movie together: 'The Notebook', and she never hesitated to share the goodness of Jesus Christ. She was also the very first person that I called when I surrendered my life to Jesus Christ! Now she is back at home in Chicago, an alumni from college, and a newlywed wife to Lawerence Drayton. Oh I love me some Myisha with the ugly cry lol=) 

• Zipporah Mondy (Pic 7): And I mean last but not least who doesn't love my gurl Zipporah!!! I met Zipporah just last year as a fellow Bible student for the discipleship equipping training program called DownLine Ministries. Zipporah and I were placed as roommates with four other amazing women of God. From the moment I met Zipporah, she has served my socks off! For example, I had already moved in one of the rooms in our new home together & I reluntantly did not want to switch rooms with a new roommate that was coming in. So, Zipporah gave up her room to move into the room with me. What Humility!!! Zipporah has made me fall on the floor laughing with her stories of her big family just like me. We have stayed up praying together on my bed. And she has truly allowed me to build strength from her just by watching her intimate relationship with Jesus especially when she is uncertain about situations that occur in her life. Now Zipporah has returned to her home in West Helena, Arkansas where she gives her life away to a camp she estabished for the youth to know about Jesus Christ. She is also serving her family. She is attending college for the very first time. And she will be a bridesmaid in my upcoming wedding.  I adore her so much for always believing in me especially towards the gift of marriage. I love you beautiful Zipporah=)

So there you have it friends, the special portraits of my very own 'Sacred Friendships'. If you do not have friendships like these in your very own lives, I suggest that you seek the Lord to help you pursue and invest in special people who will love every part of your being because they have added to it themselves. As C.S. Lewis says, 'Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art. It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival'.

To DreSS or not to DreSs

*Day 68 of being the FIANCE or Martel Johnson:

Waking up I am feeling much better rather than the drama from this weekend because I had one thing on my mind: Bridesmaid Dresses!!!

First of all, I am so humbled to even get to be a 'Bride to Be' and now I get to pick out Bridesmaid dresses for my best friends to honor the sacred covenant of Martel and I to be wed in 8 months.

The quest started out with me on the way to scoop up my little sister Sydney (my honorary Maid of Honor), who I am uber crazy for coco puffs over because she absolutely allows me to be me and she is totally down to be over the top crazy and silly just like me all at the same time. I scooped her up and the madness had already started by us making fun of our half done hair styles because our hair was just screaming for a flat iron and our attempts to sing over the radio was a total no no lol. Then, we headed to Reese St. and grabbed my girl Amber (Maid of Honor) and we headed straight for the highway.

We arrived at David's Bridal, at least we thought we did, despite a couple of turn arounds lol. SN: for those of you who don't know me, I tend to be directionally challenged lol. Anyway, we walked in and was greeted by an awesome associate and the rack gallery had become our domain.

Being in David's Bridal was a little overwhelming because I am such a visual person and for me that means I have to be able to see how all the pieces will fit together before I can actually make a decision. But Sydney and Amber were so helpful and graciously supportive to me!!! They were not annoying by trying to make me choose something that they knew that I wouldn't want, they didn't try to pressure me, and they didn't try to persuade me to make it about them, but, they too, wanted to make it about what would be best for the wedding decor. See I just use a legit wedding term: 'decor'. Lol

My MOHs tried on quite a few dresses and they looked so beautiful in them. And as I watched them both have a go at their pretend catwalks down an imaginary aisle, while watching the scene, not only did it make me smile, but it made me whisper inside, as my little sister twirled and gawked at a dress that she loved so much, 'Lord this wedding is going to be REAL!' I can't wait to make the final decision for the ultimate bridesmaid dress, but for now I am just so thankful for the GIFTS that are given to me DAILY to experience this journey through engagement towards a real, sacred, and committed MARRIAGE that will be here before I know it.

P.S. thank You Abba Father for the grace You gave me to have people help me jump my car after it died twice today. Thank you Martel, my beautiful and handsome fiance, for your 'Love Checks' that you call texts messages and tweets. I love you Teddy bear=)

In Christ with love,

Juzanne, a sinner saved by grace Ephesians 2:8-9

It's Bittersweet

*Day 67 of being the FIANCE of Martel Johnson:

Today is not a good look for me in that I didn't make it to church today and I woke up way later than I wanted to................but there is an explanation for it all an explanation that makes me start to weld up with tears all over again.

Yesterday, I went to my mama's house to visit my little sister Sydney, who called me earlier to let me know, that my 2nd oldest sister Raisa, was coming to visit with my 2nd new nephew Matthew.  Well, when she sent me the text, I had my reservations, but I pulled up all of my energy and might and got in my car and then I took off to my mama's house.

Earlier last week, my discipler gave me a CHALLENGE to tackle the conflict within my family that I had been dealing with lately.  A little specifics from that conversation included: 1. I should get my family together for a family meeting; 2. I should express to my family the issues that are weighting my heart down; 3. I should apologize for being the mediator for the longest in my family and to express my new boundaries that I will not bring into my future marriage with Martel.

As I was heading to my mama's house, I was thinking about that CHALLENGE and I had already determined in my mind that the challenge will never go through without even giving faith to believe that God can change my family an opportunity.  Before I could let those evil thoughts creep in, I prayed deeply and quickly for the Lord to quiet my spirit and fill me with Romans 12:17-19 (New International Version):

   ¹⁷ Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. ¹⁸ If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. ¹⁹ Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,”^[b] says the Lord.



My little sister answered the door, and I walked in realizing that no one was home except for the both of us. We sat in her room and caught up on our days and then I asked my sister when my nephew was about to come over. She reminded me of her arrival, and so I kept contemplating how everything would turn out once my mom, my sisters, and my brothers would all arrive in the home so that I could actually attempt the CHALLENGE. 

From the looks of things, it didn't look like everyone would end up in the same room. So, my sister let me know that my mom needed a ride from the laundry mat to the house. So, I got in my car and drove to get her. When I arrived to the laundry mat, I walked in and I saw my mama. I quietly asked the Lord to give me an opportunity to talk with her.  I asked her was she ready to leave and she said that she wasn't so I started to talk to my mom about some of the things that were on my heart.  The conversation started by me being patient with my mom to finally share with her the burdens on my heart.  It seemed like she really wanted to hear what I had to say, but she just kept interrupting me and she refused to really hear my heart, but I relented to default to anger, I continued to share the hard stuff.  I actually felt a sense of confidence come over me, in that, I have never really been able to communicate with my mom, over the course of my whole life, anything that ever bothered me, but it seemed that this time would actually be different. 

I shared with her to stop making assumptions that she would not be in my wedding because she never actually heard from my own mouth that she would not be in my wedding, but she kept telling my sisters that I would not have her in my wedding.  I also shared with her that I desire from now on to do whatever it takes to reconcil our relationship in spite of all of the resentment that I held against her in the past.  Futhermore, I honestly shared with her that because we do not have the closest relationship that she could not expect me to just be jumping for joy to include her in my wedding, but because I love my mother and I would never disrespect her, I would never not include her in my wedding.  However, my mom was relentless in her anger towards me about having the audacity to share my heart with her and then the words came out: 'Juzanne, I am not going to act like every thing is ok, and I'm not going let you come in here and tell me all of this. I want you to know that you can have your wedding because I WILL NOT BE THERE, and you have a nice life because I don't give a rats a**!!!' So, there it was and then it was said and for a moment my life just stopped..........and I think that I could hear my heart crumbling on the inside.  Out of shock, I tried my best to keep my cool and I told my mother that she is the one who made that decision and that I still care about her and that I still love her and that all I wanted to do was to get between the massive wall between us and share my heart even in the midst of her yelling.  And lastly, I said God bless her and I left the laundry mat hurt beyond the air that I could breathe!!!!!! I drove back to my mama's house and cried in front of my little sister and then I told her that I love her and to not be mad if mama tries to keep her from seeing me and that she is still in my wedding. My little sister held me for a moment and told me that everything will be ok and to not worry, she was utterly shocked as well. 

I got back in my car, cried so sorrowfully, and then I started shouting and throwing up prayers to my Heavenly Father.  I met up with Martel as soon as I left my mother's home.  I walked up to him and then I just fell into his arms crying so bad that I felt my stomach trying to come out of me! Martel comforted me through my excruciating tears and then he sweetly and lovingly shared the Gospel with me reminding me that as long as I continue to love my family above the evil they produce the Lord will continue to uphold me throughout everything. He also told me that he will always support, protect, and stand behind me 100% no matter what happens in my life, especially when it comes to the hurtful ways of my family. My discipler also left the sweetest voicemail on my phone. And one of my bestest friend's in St. Louis shared with me that we cannot control our family's reactions or responses, but we can continue to give all of the glory to the Lord Jesus Christ because these situations are ultimately opportunities to continue to draw closer to the Lord God Almighty and to our soon to be spouse=) 

I am still shaken from this episode, but I am going to trust the Lord on this one because I have known for the longest that I can't change my family, but I can change how I choose to handle my family. I know one thing that I will do, I will always choose: LOVE. I will leave you all with this

Psalm 34:17-20 (English Standard Version)

'When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all. He keeps all his bones; not one of them is broken'

PLEASE 'PRAY' FOR ME DEEPLY, I LOVE YOU ALL AND THANKS FOR READING=)

Things People Don't Tell You When You Get Engaged

So, I know that alot of you have been wondering: What in the world is she counting down to? Well, if you didn't know I am counting down to our wedding date that I haven't really exposed to alot of people, but today if you all have been biting your figures and giddy with excitement and asking yourselves, 'come on what freakin day is it???' Then here it is for the world to see................drum roll please:

*Our Wedding Date is September 15, 2011*



***Currently we have 190 days to go, so much to do, and many memories to make along the way!!! From now on I will be counting down the days of being the fiance of Martel Johnson until I become his wife on our wedding day***

*DAY 65 of being the fiance of Martel Johnson: I have already shared how my life has not been the same since the day Martel proposed to me. There have been a flood of emotions that I can't explain, deadlines to meet, people to avoid whom you don't even know but that want to be apart of your wedding lol, and all at the same time I have to remember soon I will be married. But I noticed that there are just some things that people never tell you about UNTIL you get engaged:

1. You will never know when the love of your life will propose to you.  Even though, I was dressed up because Martel told me that we were just going on a day outing, I don't think that I would have wanted to look like I had a mug shot when he proposed to me lol

2. You won't be able to stop staring at your hand.  There is a big difference between dreaming about what your dream ring will look like on your hand and to actually have the brand new shiny, bling bling, ring on your finger!!! I know when Martel first placed the ring on my finger, I absolutely could not believe it and it's Day 65 of me being the fiance of Martel and I still haven't stopped looking at my ring. 

Quick Tip: Everyone is going to want to see the ring, so please get a manicure or keep your nails polished up and try not to gawk at your hand while crossing the street or driving lol

3. You will have to tell your proposal story a trillion times! I cannot tell you how many times I have shared our story so far, but it's supposed to be fun to share during the engagement process, but sometimes it can get annoying. The easiest thing to do is to share your story with close friends and then provide the rest of the world with a link of the story. But trust me, I am over the rainbow uper dope excited to be engaged baby baby!!!

4. People will ask you about a wedding date and location before you've had a chance to even think about it!

I know that this part was so crazy to me because I'm like, 'people I just got engaged hello!!!' But anyway, even if you don't know any info just simply say: 'We have plenty of time to plan, right now we are just so excited to be engaged' and don't forget to show the biggest smiley face that you can=)

5. There might be a few sours along the way. There's usually at least one friend or family member who may not come off quite as supportive or elated as the rest of them. If this doesn't happen to you, be thankful, because you're in the minority. I am already experiencing this with my mom and my sisters, but I refuse to let their reactions get to me and I believe that their negative responses are a reflection of them and not me.  So, I won't dwell on negative feedback, but I will focus on the positive, the friends who express their excitement for me, the blessings and the gift of I am getting married!

6. Recently married friends will suddenly become wedding planners, I take that back EVERYONE will become wedding planners, and often times they will give unsolicited advice. If a friend offers wedding planning advice say, "You shouldn't invite kids to your wedding," or anything else that starts with, "You should/shouldn't...", take it in stride. Graciously accept it as a sign of their friendship (there's no need to get defensive). If you agree with the advice, take it; if not, thank them and move on with your plans.

7. You will watch wedding shows and tv shows differently.  I believe that 'Say Yes to the Dress' and 'My Fair Wedding' are my best friends right now lol. I find myself oftentimes just staring at the t.v. like a zombie trying to soak up every minute of what kind of dress I should wear, what kind of wedding we should have, and what party favors to choose for guests. But anyway, this is one of those guilty wedding pleasures that you're totally allowed to indulge in while you're engaged.

8. You'll have a hard time not jumping into wedding planning right away and will find it difficult to 'just enjoy being engaged.' I am a total witness that, within my first two weeks of being engaged, I actually had a meltdown when I tried to start planning early. But after talking with friends who made me come back to my senses of the excitement of the engagement process, I stopped losing my mind=)  Also, it's okay (and good!) to get started early, but PLEASE BE SENSITIVE TO YOUR FIANCE!!! He more than likely just spent a lot of money and time planning out the proposal. So give him a little time to relax if he needs it. But, I do know that for now if you just got engaged like me you can start documenting your proposal story.

9. Your relationship will be different even if you have known your fiance for a couple of years. I have known Martel, as my best friend, since May 4, 2007.  But, now that we are engaged, I am starting to see a whole new side of him that I never thought that I would see in him, and it is making me fall in love with him all over again.  My favorite part is to know that he actually wants to be involved in the wedding planning and I thought that he was going to be one of those guys that would just show up to the wedding lol.

A marriage proposal is exciting, but it's also serious. We have just agreed to commit to one another -- for forever.

So, we are working out the nitty-gritty details that we may have only touched upon when we were dating. We going through a marriage workbook together, reading the Word in a couples' devotional together, exploring the world of marriage through other Godly married couples together, and we have signed up for prewedding counseling, where we will be led through the process by a pro. WE ARE MAKING SURE TO DO EVERYTHING TOGETHER.  I am learning that having worked out hard-to-make decisions together will make the wedding ceremony that much more meaningful for us.

10. Choosing your Maid of Honor, Bridesmaids, and other people for the Bridal party can be harder than you thought.  This process was and still is so hard for me because I know so many people and when I surrendered my life to Christ, I actually gained so many friends that facebook is keeping accountable of them as I type lol. But anyway, I know who I am actually close to so I thank the Lord for my sisters in Christ who will be my Bridesmaids and I am so excited for my honorary maid of honor: my little sister Sydney Henderson and my maid of honor: Amber Walker. I love you all.

Remember, this list is just a few things that I have learned from just being engaged and I am sure this is not the end of the list too=)

***I'M ENGAGED TO MARTEL JOHNSON JAN 4, 2012 BABY BABY!!!

Awwwwwwww!!!! what can I say I have been reeling and jumping for joy over the newest headliner of my life: 'MARRIAGE'......a journey in life that I never thought that I would trod....Until recently, I became sidetracked by Jan 4, 2012 and my life has not been the same since, in a very uber exciting way. Now, I am a daily tear-jerker because the Lord God Almighty has 'lavished' His grace upon me with another beautiful 'benefit' of Jesus Christ: I am a newly engaged Bride to be!!!

Earlier last year 2011 of course, I was apart of an amazing Biblical discipleship program called DownLine Ministries. I believed that this was the season of my life that the Lord decided to show me Himself in ways that I never thought I would be able to handle.  The program was a freeing time of my life, in that, I had an enormous amount of time to just enjoy the Lord, become more broken than I have ever been before, and embrace biblical community in ways that at times I really didn't want to.  DownLine placed me in a discipleship group, with three amazing women of God, and we discussed many trials, tribulations, and discoveries about ourselves and how we can translate those areas into the more santicified image of Jesus Christ. I truly enjoyed our hangouts so much because number one: we were all women and number two: we all desired to draw closer to the Lord, BUT the one theme that I was the most timid about always seemed to creep back up when I surely did not ever want it to: MARRIAGE.... no one ever said that we had to agree on the topic of marriage. And guess what? I was the main one in the group and the only one in the group who was not the advocate for marriage and not because I had anything against marriage, but my groundwork for the definition of marriage had been so distorted over the course of my life, that I just truly believed that I did not want any part of it!!!

Growing up my father was absent from the home and my mother was never married, a single mother, raising 8 children, but she always seemed to cohabitate with other men along the years.  I always desired to see my mother married....but that never happened. I even wondered how my father would lead the home, be the hero of things to fix around the house, and tell me how he would harm a guy who ever tried to come at me the wrong way, if he ever married my mom.  So, since I never saw my parents married, I never ever actually dreamed of getting married myself.... As a little girl, I didn't plan my wedding since the age of 7, beg my mom for the Barbie and Ken and dream house, or cut out my dream wedding dress from tons of magazines. Marriage was a mere illusion that seemed like it would never become a reality. So whenever my discipleship group would get giggly over the topic of 'who would be getting married soon' or 'what kind of wedding she would have' or this is 'the man of God I desire to marry', I would cringe inside and find the black hole in my mind and live there. 

Spring starts to approach of 2011 and the Lord has enthusiastically softened my heart from the progress that I have made in my discipleship group on the topic of marriage.  My roommate also kept telling me how much she believed that I would one day get married too.  I completed all of the exercises to narrow down a list of characteristics for a Godly man, I placed a stake in the mind that I would not let my past determine my future, and I opened up my heart to the reality that I could actually be apart of the beautiful mystery of marriage. 

Then my long time best friend Martel Johnson, whom I met on campus May 4, 2007, came back into my life towards the end of my discipleship program.  We had made a mutual decision to consecrate ourselves to the Lord in 2008 because when we met we adorned each other so much as friends that we decided to explore the possibilities of entering into a relationship.  However, we were both brand new Christians in the faith and we were extremely spiritually immature that we allowed our flesh to overrule God's will and tragically we fell into sexual sin.  Devastated by our actions, we had to immediately separate and we could not come back together until we knew our boundaries and convictions in the Lord.  Well, as I consecrated myself, prayed for Martel and I, and drew so much more closer to the Lord than I ever knew, the Lord decided that uniting with Martel again finally in 2011 was stamped by His approval.  Martel asked to pursue me at the end of May, he gave me time to pray over the decision, and EUREKA, we entered into a Godly relationship in May 2011 and now I am his newly engaged fiance=) Wow look at God!!! He reconciled two sinners saved by grace, by His mercy to challenge us to grasp how His will is always better to follow than our foolish and fleshly desires.  So people this is my story and I am sticking to it. When we launch our wedding website, you can see how he proposed to me. 

Hope that you are excited to share the COUNTDOWN with me after reading some background. I am so amped to be a BRIDE TO BE BABY BABY!!!