So Close To Be Wed*

*106 Days (Friday June 1, 2012) to Sept 15, 2012*:

Today marks 3 months and 2 weeks left until Martel and I will be Wed!!!

     Since January 4, 2012, the moment that Martel got down on one knee and asked me to marry him, we have truly been experiencing such a 'fullness of joy' within our engagement. We started out without a clue of how to start our walk towards marriage and now our Lord has revealed more to us about a Godly foundation of marriage that we could have never expected. Martel and I have learned how joyful, anxious, and exhausting wedding planning can be. We have learned that one of the most important ingredients of engagement is to go through Christian marriage counseling (shoutout to our amazing advisor, Dr. Carson).  Martel and I have learned so much more about each other through engagement that we would have seemed to never know about each other while dating. We asked God to help us tackle some difficult areas in our relationship i.e. communication, church, and disagreements that we would dare not yield to the enemy because of our faith in Jesus Christ, we are overcoming those trials DAILY.  We have created some super special memories along the way i.e. engagement photos, Martel's birthday, Alexis & Lung's Wedding, Ben & Ashley's Wedding, the celebration of the first day that we met: May 4, 2007, our Gatlingburg trip/adventures, movie dates, dinner dates, the launch of our wedding website, our wedding registry. We have found our intimacy with Jesus, within our individual walks, to be so much more sweeter and when we unite we rejoice about the radiance of God and how unfathomable He is to make Himself available to us each day! Our engagement process has not been the most perfect, but every bit of it has been extremely worth it! First, we would like to give our most humble thanksgiving to our Heavenly Father for giving us the privilege to be apart of the mysterious and wonderful GIFT of marriage on Sept 15, 2012. Next, we would like to thank our beautiful and super servant wedding coordinator, Ariyana Rimson for helping us every step of the way.  Third, the Bride would love to thank her MOHs, Amber Walker and Sydney Henderson for supporting her with so much love to help her out with every need. Fourth, we would like to thank our entire Bridal parties for being so eternally grateful to honor us with their presence by being in our wedding!!!

*142 Days to Sept 15, 2012:

     Today, Martel and I shared a wonderful experience of our 1st wedding registry together at Bed Bath and Beyond.  The whole store seemed so overwhelming, but to me it was a housing interior heaven!!! Martel seemed quiet at first, but once we got to start scanning items, he ended up wanting more items scanned than me! lol. Our Bridal consultant, Danielle did a fantastic job by explaining all of the details of why we should choose certain items for our new home.  All together we scanned a total of 250 plus items because we learned if you are planning to have more than 200 guests than you must scan double the amount of items.  We had a lot of fun and we learned a lot about each other from our preferences when choosing items for our new home together. Awwwww I just can't wait to marry my teddy bear=)

                *ATTENTION TO OUR FAMILY/ FRIENDS ATTENDING:

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO CELEBRATE OUR UNION TOGETHER WITH A LOVE GIFT. WE WOULD TRULY APPRECIATE IF YOU COULD PLEASE CHOOSE FROM THE ITEMS ON OUR WEDDING REGISTRY ONLINE. YOU WILL FEEL AWESOME KNOWING THAT YOU CHOSE A GIFT THAT YOU KNOW THAT WE WILL LOVE!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FAMILY AND FRIENDS BY SHOWERING US WITH YOUR LOVE THROUGH OUR WEDDING REGISTRY. AND DON'T FORGET TO VIEW OUR UNVEILING OF OUR WEDDING WEBSITE AND SHOW YOUR LOVE SOME MORE BY SIGNING OUR GUESTBOOK*:

http://www.weddingwire.com/martyjuzanneforyouIwill91512

~INSTRUCTIONS FOR OUR WEDDING REGISTRY WITH BED BATH & BEYOND:

1. GO TO:  http://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/RegHome.asp

2. LOOK FOR THE [FIND A REGISTRY] OPTION

3. ENTER EITHER THE BRIDE OR GROOM'S FIRST AND LAST NAME

4. CLICK ON OUR WEDDING REGISTRY

5. SEARCH THROUGH OUR ITEMS AND CHOOSE ANY ITEM THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO BLESS US WITH. YOU CAN CHOOSE TO PURCHASE ONLINE OR IN THE STORE DEPENDING ON THE ITEM.

                    

To Merge or Not To Merge

 *Day 89 of being the FIANCE of Martel Johnson:

As I arose yesterday morning, I realized that I was about to eagerly embark on a new CHALLENGE in my life for the first time in our relationship that I have stubbornly been uneasy about: 'THE BLENDING OF TWO LIVES'.

I got in the car with Martel and off we were headed together to his church: 'Life Changing Ministries' which my heart started to realized as we pulled into the driveway.....'Juzanne, this will soon be your future church home'. 

     If you are wondering what is the backdrop of this post, well here it goes.  Martel and I have known each other as beautiful friends since 2007. From the moment we met each other, our lives have always been on the opposite spectrum of one another. We were both young in the faith of Jesus Christ when we first met, but there were even more distinct differences about one another that intrigued us to continue in our pursuit of a growing friendship.  When you look at my life, I have always been serving in ministry since the moment that I surrendered my life to Christ and continuing my schooling at the University of Memphis.  On the other hand, Martel also attended University of Memphis, been an absolute hard worker with a major on point business savvy, and his service in ministry looked different from mines, in that, he had to be more strategic when sharing the Gospel with coworkers and patients, whereas I was easily thrown into open situations and opportunities to share the Gospel.  And on top of everything, we both attended different churches, had different dynamics of friends, and etc. Ultimately, we are simply just plain opposite, but we deeply love one another so I know that in spite of being opposite it has worked for us lol. 

     Anyway, with so many differences and a whole lot of love to fill those differences, there is always a challenge that we must face together and that is the blending of one another's lives.  No one knows this challenge more than Martel and I.  We have had to establish so many 'collaborations' and not 'compromises' which I will explain later in order for our relationship to remain in full gear.  From the food that we choose to the television shows that we watch and to the convictions that we both have spiritually, everything has become a 'melting pot' for us.  The one door that seemed to be the hardest challenge above all for us is the topic of 'Church'.  If you asked us two years ago, we would tell you that there was nothing in heaven or on Earth that could make us yield to discussing this topic, so naturally we avoided it until the elephant got too big for us to avoid.  Now that we are engaged, the elephant is not only in the room, but it is sitting on our couch and eating our chips asking us, 'So what yall gone do? Huh?'. 

     A month ago, I met with my amazing discipler, Heather again at her new home and she called me up to the challenge that I feared the most: I CHALLENGE YOU TO ATTEND MARTEL'S CHURCH FOR A WHOLE MONTH. I was like screaming internally, 'What! Heather whose side are you on????' I thought about what she said for a moment and my whole life at Fellowship Memphis flashed before my eyes: the bonds I shared with so many people, the sound doctrine that would sting me to conviction every Sunday, the opportunities to service the church, and tons of growth that has helped a great deal to make me the woman of God that I am today.   And then I realized that I would share with her that when Martel and I get married, I would attend his church, but stubbornly on the inside, I was just talking the talk, but Heather challenged me to walk the walk.  Later on in our conversation, I realized how thankful I am to Heather because no one ever challenged me to stand up to my new role, as a submissive leader, by standing behind my future husband and leaving to cleave to our new established life together.  Whew! it makes me want to shout and dance dance dance just to think about how much more the Lord is building into me to be a woman and wife of noble character.

Genesis 2:24 New King James Version (NKJV)

Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

Proverbs 31:10-12 New International Version (NIV)

A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.  She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.

     So, back to the beginning of my post. We parked in the parking lot and we started to walk in and the atmosphere was just oozing with the call for the Lord to come and be present in this place.  It was such a sweet aroma to be in Life Changing Ministries just in moments of preparing to take a seat. I was greeted by a few women already just by walking in and hugged and encouraged by Pastor Moore's wife, Pamela Moore and she said happily, 'Come on in and get excited about your new home'.  Her statement placed me in an automatic comfort zone and I knew as I was following Martel to a seat, my life is truly about to change. Praise and worship began and the singers shouted their voices to the heavens and I could feel the presence of the Lord in that place. The music continued to surround the church and the women sang harder and longer and motioned the audience to let our hearts go out to the Lord freely.  Then, out the corner of my eye I noticed that the ushers were passing out pieces of palm trees to as many that they could in the crowd and then I received one.  The church began to put on a beautiful display of Palm Sunday to not only celebrate the joyous day when Jesus made his triumphal entrance into Jerusalem, as we waved our very own palms, but we celebrated the joyous day that we all remembered when the Lord Jesus came into our hearts and rid us from our wretched sin and brokenness.  I could not stop crying because I remembered how the Lord sought me out and how miraculous it is for me to still be praying to Him because He has kept His word by not leaving me because HE IS NOT DEAD! Matthew 28: 20 (NKJV) and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Amen.

     The message that Pastor Moore gave was amazing, in that, he stated how we must not forget the 'IN THE BEGINNING GOD' because He is the very reason that we celebrate the Risen Savior Jesus Christ. Admirably, I loved whenever Martel would go to the stage to proclaim loudly and boldly the scriptures from the Almighty Yahweh, and I was thinking internally, 'Now that is my Godly leader' as I smiled softly.  One of the parts that I enjoyed the most about attending Life Changing was that when the secretary arose to state the order of service and announcements in which there is moment where the visitors are asked to make themselves known and because Life Changing is a small congregation, everyone knew that I was the only visitor lol.  So that I would not be disrespectful, I was about to stand and state the church that attend which is Fellowship Memphis, but Pastor Moore shouted, 'Oh no we don't have any visitors we are all members here, that is sister Johnson sitting over there!' Wow!!! is all that I could shout in my heart, what a way for them to shower me with love on the first day of my challenge from Heather. 

     So, ladies and gentleman there you have it, my challenge to attend Martel's church didn't go bad at all.  In fact, I cannot wait to attend next Sunday! See what I learned is that I will be intimately 'collaborating' with Martel when we start to attend Life Changing Ministries together because it is ultimately not about us and our preferences, but it is always all about magnifying the Lord with every area in our lives especially with the blending of one another's life.  A compromise is where one party loses something at the expense of the other party, but a collaboration is where both parties do not lose anything but instead when they come together with their ideals, they come up with something 'even better' which will woven them together even stronger.  So thank you Jesus for helping me to pursue a collaboration with Martel to honor you with our marriage soon.  I desire to look upon submission as a GIFT Lord and not as a crutch to hinder me from the joys of marriage because that is not what You designed it for, only sin has distorted the proper view of submission.  Give me Your eyes Lord to be my guide and I need Your voice to continue to be louder than mines. Thank You Lord for making sure that we are not blending our lives together alone and that You are already helping us along the way. -Amen

    

*It Never Ends: Disciple-Making

*Day 88 of being the FIANCE of Martel Johnson:

Hello Friends, life has been so eye-opening for me lately!!!

Here is an update on Martel and I:

1. We just started MARRIAGE COUNSELING with Dr. Carson,

 at Germantown Baptist Church

2. We absolutely adore our engagement photo revealing by

Lyndsi Photography!

3. We are working together on our spiritual homework, as a couple

4. We are affirming each other DAILY more and more to destroy the habits of worldly couples and to put on the habits of a Godly soon-to-be married couple.

5. Lastly, we have 167 days left until our friendship becomes an eternal bond in holy matrimony: September 15, 2012

One thing that I noticed in my life since I surrendered my life to Jesus Christ, that has been truly consistent is the GIFT of DISCIPLESHIP. This constant thread in my life has weaved me into so many wonders beyond my joy that sometimes I can't even find words to explain.  It is a blessing that I believe that I am most eternally grateful for including my salvation.

         In 2007, I began my very own first journey of discipleship through my dear angel: Kelly Scott. This humbling woman of God came up to me and shared the Gospel to me for the very first time when I was moments from hearing about the passing of my dear grandmother.  I was devastated, heart-broken, lost, and confused beyond living at that point, but behold a voice crying in the wilderness for me was Kelly Scott.  She came and sat down by me with tears staining my face and began to share, so calmly, the most beautiful words of the Gospel of Jesus Christ that I had never and ever heard.  The word that she spoke from the Lord was the best thing that I could have ever heard at the worst time that I really didn't want to hear it.  From then on, I desired to FOLLOW Kelly wherever she went without even noticing that my feet were moving. Oh the POWER OF DISCIPLESHIP!!!

        I was not a Christian at the time when I met Kelly, but I stayed on her like a blood hound trying to soak up all that she knew from the unknown God that I still did not know myself.  I have to admit, since I had not heard of the story of Jesus Christ before I met Kelly, I was quite the stubborn skeptic because I did not want to say that I was an Atheist.  So, I know that I gave Kelly a run for her money in her dealings with me, but the curiosity to know Jesus more closely never left hindered my skepticism.  She read the Bible numerous times to me, she gave me handouts to study, she suggested tons of books for me to read because she knew that I loved to read, she introduced me to so many other people who where just like her: A Christian, and she practically lived out her life before me like an open book just to show me how real her God is. 



Do you remember when that first 'sinner saved by grace' came into your life and just wowed you with the Gospel? Have you planted your own pillar of memorials to thank God for those special encounters from those who not only follow Him, but they are literally after God's own heart? Have your ears just heard the Great Commission in Matthew 28:18-20 or has your whole being  EXPERIENCED the GREAT COMMISSION?

Well Kelly Scott took a risk and she placed her faith in God, to forsake all others, for the sake of watching me be able to surrender my very own life to Jesus Himself, who had already given up His life for me.  Because the Lord used Kelly to sow a seed in me, Kelly along with so many other faithful servants along the way, have played the most important roles in my life: Disciple-Makers.  I would not be the woman of God that I am today without the life and truth transference of women and men who decided to take a risk for me to lose their lives in Jesus Christ to do whatever it takes for me to know Him deeply.  I will never forget the endless readings in the Word of God, the long list of questions that I contemplated over when I would stop to consider such an eternal God, the endless conversations of the Lord's goodness, miracles, faithfulness, discipline, and everlasting love, the thousands of friendships that I instantly gained just by becoming an adopted daughter in the Kingdom of God, and lastly I will never forget the GIFT that just keeps on giving the transformation to change the world: the beauty and cost of DISCIPLESHIP.  

Thank You Jesus for changing the game and deciding that we should be last before we can be first, that we should serve rather than to be served, and that we should lose our lives to have you save them.  Lord, You are the reason that I follow the narrow path because the journey of discipleship is costly, but it has been the most rewarding of relationships in that I will never truly understand your love story from the Gospels than to sacrifice my life, for the sake of those women that you have allowed me to impact over the years, to know You more deeply that is what I call worth it!!!

Thank You Kelly Scott, Lee Denton, Ollie Johnson, Martel Johnson, Pie, Precious, Patrice, Krystal, Amber, Paula Ortega, Emile McDuffin, Anna Lansford, Brianna Bland, April Jackson, Ashley Heliwell, Chris Novi, Roy, Kendall, Bess Norwood, Tezar, Leonard, Deborah Lansford, Jordan and Bree Holbrook, Mike Turner, Brian Crenshaw, Brett Wynne, Stew, Nate, Molly, Anteelah, Brett & Kat, Lindsey Gus, Michael Majors,  Jessica Swinger, Sydney Mcgee, Michelle Neal, Faith, Courtney Smith, BJ & Vanja, Martell Hixson, Lawerence, Candice, Leah Fox, Aaron Mccain, DJ, Chad & Jeanie,Marcus & Jaki, Jermey & Threasy, Jessica Laws, Kenyota, Clara, Emy, Grace, Angelic, Raven, Jessica Bell, Marsheka, Fadwa, Faye Kelly, Joy, Verdella, Taylor, Chaz, Stephanie Knight, Cherice, Natalie Cole, Tiana, Kennon V, Renata, Zipporah, Roz, Nicole, Simone, Joe, Rachel, Tracee, Amber Rose, Chas,  Matthew Love, and anyone that I missed because there are absolutely too many people to name who have placed huge footsteps on my road towards discipleship in Jesus Christ baby baby!!!

      Currently, I am walking with my sixth discipleship group of women in Christ: Courtney Smith and Kenyota Ward.  My beautiful spiritual daughters encourage me so much and they are always cracking me up with their funny stories and imaginative skits. We are growing through Titus 2 by many different lessons and teachings that will ultimately building a solid foundation in us to not only be women of can embrace sound doctrine, but we can also be women who are spiritual disciplined to hold true to our convictions to capture our sinful nature for Christ DAILY.

       Courtney is a fashion merchandiser major, enjoys sharing the Gospel to new people, and she cannot wait to spread her talents and giftings for Jesus with her dream clothing line called: SBG after my favorite verse ever Ephesians 2:8-9.  Kenyota is a biology major, enjoys digging deep into God Word, and she cannot wait to use her education to soon have her own clinic to serve the Lord and his people.  Thank You Lord for these beautiful women who simply want to never stop growing in their faith for you and without me they will still yield for you which makes me so elated to admire their incredible humility for discipleship. 

Lord may discipleship never stop beating in my heart, may my feet never grow weary from following You, and may I never realize that a Disciple-Maker's life will ever end.......

Matthew 28:18-20

And Jesus came and spoke to them, saying, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,  teaching

 them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Amen.

*Take It From A New 'Bride'

*Day 76 of being the FIANCE of Martel Johnson:

First, I would like to give a standing ovation to the *1ST DAY OF SPRING BABY BABY!!! I am so hype that it is this time of year because I just love this type of weather and I'm so ready to wear colors that just pop=)

Today friends, I would like to share with you from a series of conversations that I have been having lately. For many of you who do not know, three of my closest best friends are brand spanky new Brides and Wifeagers (that's a wife+ manager). I read this new term on twitter and that's right I like it lol.  And while there is so much that I must already take in just as a fiance, I am always curious about the realities of marriage.

Every week, I have been rotating my calls to each one of my married besties.  The sweet part about calling them is that each sister has a totally different outlook on the GIFT of marriage.  For me, I get so excited just to listen to them rather than to learn from them because I truly admire that they have crossed over into the beautiful covenant from the grace and mercy of our Almighty Father.  However, I know that there must be a learning process to being on the phone with them because duhhhhh their married!!! Typically, I bombard them with as many questions as I can but then I realize if I just listen they will naturally unlock the secrets and tell me everything mu hahahahahahahaa (laughing in my count dracula voice). 

Some of the advice that I have been given, I desire to share with other engaged Brides, such as myself, because I believe that I can be naive or too caught up in the moment of everything, as a fiance alone, that I might miss out on the mother of all importance: the high calling of God's covenant marriage. So, soon to be Brides what I am about to share with you is not top secret, but must be lived out as you discern, from the Holy Spirit how, you too, can be a help meet to your soon-to-be husband.

1. Build your husband up to be a Godly man. The Lord has blessed you with a Godly man and there are so many things in the world that will attempt to attack him on a daily basis. They often face pressures of work, relatives and married life in general, and this sometimes causes them to get discouraged. My sister challenged me by saying that the Christian wife should encourage her husband in everything he does and assist him in making the right decisions

 

2. Get rid of the neck-rolling attitude. I know that for me I used to pride myself on being the woman who would take no lip from no one especially when someone would try to tell me what to do and especially if it was a man!  But then Jesus redeemed me and I noticed that this tip is harder to resist than I thought that it would be. So, I learned that I GET TO and I must respect my husband's role as the spiritual leader of our future home. In Ephesians chapter 5, verses 25 to 33, the apostle Paul says the wife is to submit to her husband as unto the Lord. This means that when the husband is loving his wife the way God wants him to, the wife will respect the decisions that her husband makes that will benefit the family. If I am resisting my husband's leadership on a daily basis, I am just asking him not to lead and I am also making him unattractive to leading because I will not humble myself to allow him to! So sisters trade the sayings of, 'You can't tell me what to do or what's wrong with your legs?' to 'love how can I help you? or I am so thankful for the way you lead our home'.

3. Pray for your husband daily. Pray that God will protect your husband from physical danger and any temptations that may lead him in the wrong direction. Also pray that he will have God's wisdom in making crucial family decisions.

4. Make the WORD OF GOD central to your every move in marriage. Every time that I am on the phone with my sister Precious, she constantly spurs me on in the Word of God and urges me passionately to do the same for Martel and I. She teaches me that the Word is no less important when you get married, but that it is the ultimate survival guide to make sure that your marriage is being steered by the one and only true Savior, Lord, and Master of everything in heaven and on earth: Jesus Christ.

5. Remember the Lord will see you as ONE when you are married.  This wisdom just blew my mind in that I am constantly reading Ephesians 5:21-33.

New King James Version (NKJV)

³¹ “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become ONE flesh.”

As my sister was sharing this phenomenal truth with me, I realized that this is the most intimate of GIFTS that the Lord grants between a husband and his wife that I will never be able to understand until I enter the marriage covenant soon (September 15, 2012) Yeah!!! She stated when she goes to her prayer closet, the Lord sees that her and her husband are praying in the praying closet. When her husband has a problem, the Lord sees that both the husband and the wife have a problem collectively. If the wife was thinking about something that the Lord whispered to her and then the husband shares that the Lord just revealed something to him, but he shares that revelation out loud, it's because they are now ONE.  The best part of the GIFT of oneness is that you begin to actually realize how the Lord has designed you for one another. Sweet!

6. Understand that you are uniquely made different even though you are ONE. I really enjoyed hearing this tip from one of my sisters because the Lord knows that I am so totally different from Martel Johnson! However, I was never attracted to men in the past who reflected the same similarities as myself.  But, don't get me wrong there are things that I love about Martel that makes us in sync, but our differences ignite the adventure and spontaneity in us, as a couple. Everyone knows that I am an over the top extrovert, bubbly, crazy, and all get out loud of a person.  But Martel is an introvert, he thinks alot internally, a home body, hard-worker, and loves to use his hands to fix everything.  These differences are so wonderful in us and they are sometimes confusing when we switch our personalities lol.  So, my sister shared that I must accept my husband especially as the Lord has designed him. And ask the Lord to show you how to communicate to your husband your wants and needs because you are different from him and to not get mad at you because he is not a mind-reader that knows absolutely everything about you lol.  

Ok sisters you have a few keys to unlock the beauty of being made to be a supportive wife and help meet to your husband. And start bombarding your married sisters in Christ with questions about marriage, as a fiance because they are truly read to pour into your spiritual wisdom. In fact, reach out to them TODAY. Lastly, don't hoard these treasures or allow them to collect dust. BE PROACTIVE NOW because your future marriage is counting on it!

In Christ with love,

Juzanne, a sinner saved by grace Ephesians 2:8-10*

*The Power of 'Sacred' Friendships*

*Day 75 of being the FIANCE of Martel Johnson:

No one will truly know a true friend unless they have experienced that person from the inside out, especially in their raw and rarest form.

These past two weeks the Lord has been so good to me when it comes to the friendships that He allows me to enjoy, embrace, soak up, and build incredible strength from!!!

During the latter part of last year, the Lord started showing me how it was time for my life to change again and to transition into new areas of adulthood.  I realized from post-college, I had to make some tough decisions regarding my involvement in ministry and serving on the University of Memphis campus.  After those decisions were made, I started to notice a void that I haven't really ever experienced before and that was the void of friendships.  I had to take a hard look at my life to actually see that I really had no solid people around me to build from.  While serving in ministry for 5yrs on campus, I was pouring myself out so much, that I didn't realize how much more that I needed someone to pour into me in the same way that I was radically sharing the glory and testimony of Jesus Christ.  The power of prayer started to grow heavy, and I pleaded with the Lord to help me to 1.Find an older woman of God to disciple me and 2. to develop more Godly women friendships.  And then the writing and planning started to form.  I began to write down every woman of God that I knew in my life that were solid women and then the Lord gave me the solution to my problem: PURSUE.

The Lord whispered into my life that in order for me to enjoy and embrace, an attribute of Himself, which is that He is an relational God, I must PURSUE His people.  So, looking at my list, I realized that there was one woman of God that I truly admired and that I desired to gleam from her life as she followed Christ: Heather Trotter.  I am a big fan of twitter so on Dec 19th I tweeted: 'I am desperately seeking a Godly women to be an older Titus 2 woman for me' and lo and behold Heather tweeted back: 'To whom much is given...much is required. It's my pleasure!' All I have to say friends is Wow!!! Just like that the Lord answered my prayers of an older woman to pour into me. One down and one more request to go.

Heather and I organized our first hangout. On Friday, I went to her house and the wisdom of a Godly older woman such as herself just flowed naturally.  I learned so much in just our first meeting and the freshness of it all was just right.  It seemed like Heather had been in my life all along and I just didn't notice it.  My favorite part about our interaction is that she didn't hold back, she just oozed with the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and she is by no means finished with her sanctification process.  What a joy to experience the God in her! I didn't really realize how much more that I needed Godly friendships until I was challenged by Heather. One of the most important nuggets that she left me with is that I must strive for: 'Sacred' friendships.  I wondered internally what is that? And she described that these are women who are extremely close to me in that I can share my deepest insecurities, to be vulnerable with, to build strength from, and women who will always hold me up to be accountable to the will of God as a Christian woman no matter what. She also described how no one must get in the way of that bond or try to destroy it in any way and that I must protect the sanctity of our friendship.   

Her advice left me with such an ease to start to pursing friendships that are not only solid, but sacred and what a joy my journey has been to develop these relationships even more over the course of three months!!!

*Here are a few snippets of a closer look into the women of God who shape my life daily:

• Precious Elliot (Pic 1): This fiery woman of God came into my life in June 2007, she was one of the very first women who witnessed my life before Christ and after Christ. She was also the very first woman to call me out on my sin of trying to fake like I was a Christian. She is annointed and spirit-filled and has graced my life for years, as a witness for Jesus Christ. She is my absolute other half and I have never met any one as in sync with my life as Precious! She is a newlywed wife to Kevin Smith from Jan 2012 and now she is known as Precious Smith baby baby!!! I love you Presh=)

.

• Patrice Jefferson (Pic 2): This little woman with such a big heart for the Lord Jesus Christ came into my life in June 2007 as well when I met Precious. I can literally talk to Patrice about anything and she absolutely cracks me up.  We also came up with our own saying everytime we see each other from a lousy dinner that we had when we attended a Christian program together lol.  She has the voice of an angel of God and will not resist the will of God over her life. She is my favorite sister in Christ.  She is also a newlywed wife who will be celebrating a whole year married to Roy Jefferson April 2012 baby baby! I love you Patrice=)

• Amber Walker (Pic 3): This social bug woman came into my life right along with Precious and Patrice in June 2007. Amber always listened to my crazy stories of my big family and she also laughed right along at my way of life which is being hood lol. She is so intelligent in that she pursued her Masters and she encourages everyone that comes in contact with her.  She is a humble woman of God, my maid of honor for my upcoming wedding and I just love her so much=)

• Jessica Swinger: (Pic 4): Wow what can I say about Jessica!!! God literally lead me to Jessica by His Holy Spirit in August 2008.  After I became a Christian in 2007, I prayed to the Lord to use me for His Kingdom and to allow me to share His goodness to someone else through discipleship.  After having so many random encounters of meeting Jessica on campus, the Lord pushed me to pursue her and I took a risk for the first time in my life, wrote it on an index card, and placed it under her dorm door and ever since then the Lord has taken our relationship on a journey that we both would have never been prepared for.  Jessica became my very first disciple, and I literally could not say for anyone else how the Lord has truly used me to make His life a reality in the life of another sinner saved by grace.  Through our discipleship relationship, Jessica surrendered her life to Christ in October 2008.  Jessica has seen all of my wickedness, my passion, my sin, my servanthood, my vulnerability, my shepherding, and my unwavering zeal to pursue Christ to other women. She is now a Junior at the University of Memphis pursing a bachelors in Exercise Sports Science. She is discipling herself another amazing woman in Christ. And she is growing more intimately with Jesus Christ outside of herself daily.  I love you especially Jessica=) 

• Clara Bright (Pic 5): Oh my sweet Clara, I met her during the Women's Bible study, in 2010, that I lead for five years on the University of Memphis campus.  She started attending my Bible study through another mutual friend of ours Ashley Watkins.  We realized that we are around the same age and how it was just so refreshing to meet someone like that because, at the time when we meet, everyone was younger than us lol. Anyway, Clara and I have been challenging one another to pursue our friendship more this year through a friendship devotional every Tuesday morning. I admire Clara's wisdom and her unwavering faith to stand up for her godly convictions. I love you Clara=) 

• Myisha Drayton (Pic 6): My beautiful bestie Myisha. Now this woman of God smelled like the aroma of Jesus Christ long before I would hear the unconditional love of a Savior who truly saved me in 2007. During my very 1st year of college in 2005, I met Myisha, along with another one of my good friends Kesia Merriweather, at orientation.  We instantly clicked and became each other's roaddogs quickly. Myisha embodied an old spirit but an annointed spirit of God more than anything. She became everyone's favorite granny to be a college student lol. Myisha truly showed the love of Christ through her life for me even though she knew that I was not a Christian. Myisha never rejected me, but loved me warmly, she did my hair, we watched my fave movie together: 'The Notebook', and she never hesitated to share the goodness of Jesus Christ. She was also the very first person that I called when I surrendered my life to Jesus Christ! Now she is back at home in Chicago, an alumni from college, and a newlywed wife to Lawerence Drayton. Oh I love me some Myisha with the ugly cry lol=) 

• Zipporah Mondy (Pic 7): And I mean last but not least who doesn't love my gurl Zipporah!!! I met Zipporah just last year as a fellow Bible student for the discipleship equipping training program called DownLine Ministries. Zipporah and I were placed as roommates with four other amazing women of God. From the moment I met Zipporah, she has served my socks off! For example, I had already moved in one of the rooms in our new home together & I reluntantly did not want to switch rooms with a new roommate that was coming in. So, Zipporah gave up her room to move into the room with me. What Humility!!! Zipporah has made me fall on the floor laughing with her stories of her big family just like me. We have stayed up praying together on my bed. And she has truly allowed me to build strength from her just by watching her intimate relationship with Jesus especially when she is uncertain about situations that occur in her life. Now Zipporah has returned to her home in West Helena, Arkansas where she gives her life away to a camp she estabished for the youth to know about Jesus Christ. She is also serving her family. She is attending college for the very first time. And she will be a bridesmaid in my upcoming wedding.  I adore her so much for always believing in me especially towards the gift of marriage. I love you beautiful Zipporah=)

So there you have it friends, the special portraits of my very own 'Sacred Friendships'. If you do not have friendships like these in your very own lives, I suggest that you seek the Lord to help you pursue and invest in special people who will love every part of your being because they have added to it themselves. As C.S. Lewis says, 'Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art. It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival'.

To DreSS or not to DreSs

*Day 68 of being the FIANCE or Martel Johnson:

Waking up I am feeling much better rather than the drama from this weekend because I had one thing on my mind: Bridesmaid Dresses!!!

First of all, I am so humbled to even get to be a 'Bride to Be' and now I get to pick out Bridesmaid dresses for my best friends to honor the sacred covenant of Martel and I to be wed in 8 months.

The quest started out with me on the way to scoop up my little sister Sydney (my honorary Maid of Honor), who I am uber crazy for coco puffs over because she absolutely allows me to be me and she is totally down to be over the top crazy and silly just like me all at the same time. I scooped her up and the madness had already started by us making fun of our half done hair styles because our hair was just screaming for a flat iron and our attempts to sing over the radio was a total no no lol. Then, we headed to Reese St. and grabbed my girl Amber (Maid of Honor) and we headed straight for the highway.

We arrived at David's Bridal, at least we thought we did, despite a couple of turn arounds lol. SN: for those of you who don't know me, I tend to be directionally challenged lol. Anyway, we walked in and was greeted by an awesome associate and the rack gallery had become our domain.

Being in David's Bridal was a little overwhelming because I am such a visual person and for me that means I have to be able to see how all the pieces will fit together before I can actually make a decision. But Sydney and Amber were so helpful and graciously supportive to me!!! They were not annoying by trying to make me choose something that they knew that I wouldn't want, they didn't try to pressure me, and they didn't try to persuade me to make it about them, but, they too, wanted to make it about what would be best for the wedding decor. See I just use a legit wedding term: 'decor'. Lol

My MOHs tried on quite a few dresses and they looked so beautiful in them. And as I watched them both have a go at their pretend catwalks down an imaginary aisle, while watching the scene, not only did it make me smile, but it made me whisper inside, as my little sister twirled and gawked at a dress that she loved so much, 'Lord this wedding is going to be REAL!' I can't wait to make the final decision for the ultimate bridesmaid dress, but for now I am just so thankful for the GIFTS that are given to me DAILY to experience this journey through engagement towards a real, sacred, and committed MARRIAGE that will be here before I know it.

P.S. thank You Abba Father for the grace You gave me to have people help me jump my car after it died twice today. Thank you Martel, my beautiful and handsome fiance, for your 'Love Checks' that you call texts messages and tweets. I love you Teddy bear=)

In Christ with love,

Juzanne, a sinner saved by grace Ephesians 2:8-9

It's Bittersweet

*Day 67 of being the FIANCE of Martel Johnson:

Today is not a good look for me in that I didn't make it to church today and I woke up way later than I wanted to................but there is an explanation for it all an explanation that makes me start to weld up with tears all over again.

Yesterday, I went to my mama's house to visit my little sister Sydney, who called me earlier to let me know, that my 2nd oldest sister Raisa, was coming to visit with my 2nd new nephew Matthew.  Well, when she sent me the text, I had my reservations, but I pulled up all of my energy and might and got in my car and then I took off to my mama's house.

Earlier last week, my discipler gave me a CHALLENGE to tackle the conflict within my family that I had been dealing with lately.  A little specifics from that conversation included: 1. I should get my family together for a family meeting; 2. I should express to my family the issues that are weighting my heart down; 3. I should apologize for being the mediator for the longest in my family and to express my new boundaries that I will not bring into my future marriage with Martel.

As I was heading to my mama's house, I was thinking about that CHALLENGE and I had already determined in my mind that the challenge will never go through without even giving faith to believe that God can change my family an opportunity.  Before I could let those evil thoughts creep in, I prayed deeply and quickly for the Lord to quiet my spirit and fill me with Romans 12:17-19 (New International Version):

   ¹⁷ Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. ¹⁸ If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. ¹⁹ Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,”^[b] says the Lord.



My little sister answered the door, and I walked in realizing that no one was home except for the both of us. We sat in her room and caught up on our days and then I asked my sister when my nephew was about to come over. She reminded me of her arrival, and so I kept contemplating how everything would turn out once my mom, my sisters, and my brothers would all arrive in the home so that I could actually attempt the CHALLENGE. 

From the looks of things, it didn't look like everyone would end up in the same room. So, my sister let me know that my mom needed a ride from the laundry mat to the house. So, I got in my car and drove to get her. When I arrived to the laundry mat, I walked in and I saw my mama. I quietly asked the Lord to give me an opportunity to talk with her.  I asked her was she ready to leave and she said that she wasn't so I started to talk to my mom about some of the things that were on my heart.  The conversation started by me being patient with my mom to finally share with her the burdens on my heart.  It seemed like she really wanted to hear what I had to say, but she just kept interrupting me and she refused to really hear my heart, but I relented to default to anger, I continued to share the hard stuff.  I actually felt a sense of confidence come over me, in that, I have never really been able to communicate with my mom, over the course of my whole life, anything that ever bothered me, but it seemed that this time would actually be different. 

I shared with her to stop making assumptions that she would not be in my wedding because she never actually heard from my own mouth that she would not be in my wedding, but she kept telling my sisters that I would not have her in my wedding.  I also shared with her that I desire from now on to do whatever it takes to reconcil our relationship in spite of all of the resentment that I held against her in the past.  Futhermore, I honestly shared with her that because we do not have the closest relationship that she could not expect me to just be jumping for joy to include her in my wedding, but because I love my mother and I would never disrespect her, I would never not include her in my wedding.  However, my mom was relentless in her anger towards me about having the audacity to share my heart with her and then the words came out: 'Juzanne, I am not going to act like every thing is ok, and I'm not going let you come in here and tell me all of this. I want you to know that you can have your wedding because I WILL NOT BE THERE, and you have a nice life because I don't give a rats a**!!!' So, there it was and then it was said and for a moment my life just stopped..........and I think that I could hear my heart crumbling on the inside.  Out of shock, I tried my best to keep my cool and I told my mother that she is the one who made that decision and that I still care about her and that I still love her and that all I wanted to do was to get between the massive wall between us and share my heart even in the midst of her yelling.  And lastly, I said God bless her and I left the laundry mat hurt beyond the air that I could breathe!!!!!! I drove back to my mama's house and cried in front of my little sister and then I told her that I love her and to not be mad if mama tries to keep her from seeing me and that she is still in my wedding. My little sister held me for a moment and told me that everything will be ok and to not worry, she was utterly shocked as well. 

I got back in my car, cried so sorrowfully, and then I started shouting and throwing up prayers to my Heavenly Father.  I met up with Martel as soon as I left my mother's home.  I walked up to him and then I just fell into his arms crying so bad that I felt my stomach trying to come out of me! Martel comforted me through my excruciating tears and then he sweetly and lovingly shared the Gospel with me reminding me that as long as I continue to love my family above the evil they produce the Lord will continue to uphold me throughout everything. He also told me that he will always support, protect, and stand behind me 100% no matter what happens in my life, especially when it comes to the hurtful ways of my family. My discipler also left the sweetest voicemail on my phone. And one of my bestest friend's in St. Louis shared with me that we cannot control our family's reactions or responses, but we can continue to give all of the glory to the Lord Jesus Christ because these situations are ultimately opportunities to continue to draw closer to the Lord God Almighty and to our soon to be spouse=) 

I am still shaken from this episode, but I am going to trust the Lord on this one because I have known for the longest that I can't change my family, but I can change how I choose to handle my family. I know one thing that I will do, I will always choose: LOVE. I will leave you all with this

Psalm 34:17-20 (English Standard Version)

'When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all. He keeps all his bones; not one of them is broken'

PLEASE 'PRAY' FOR ME DEEPLY, I LOVE YOU ALL AND THANKS FOR READING=)

Things People Don't Tell You When You Get Engaged

So, I know that alot of you have been wondering: What in the world is she counting down to? Well, if you didn't know I am counting down to our wedding date that I haven't really exposed to alot of people, but today if you all have been biting your figures and giddy with excitement and asking yourselves, 'come on what freakin day is it???' Then here it is for the world to see................drum roll please:

*Our Wedding Date is September 15, 2011*



***Currently we have 190 days to go, so much to do, and many memories to make along the way!!! From now on I will be counting down the days of being the fiance of Martel Johnson until I become his wife on our wedding day***

*DAY 65 of being the fiance of Martel Johnson: I have already shared how my life has not been the same since the day Martel proposed to me. There have been a flood of emotions that I can't explain, deadlines to meet, people to avoid whom you don't even know but that want to be apart of your wedding lol, and all at the same time I have to remember soon I will be married. But I noticed that there are just some things that people never tell you about UNTIL you get engaged:

1. You will never know when the love of your life will propose to you.  Even though, I was dressed up because Martel told me that we were just going on a day outing, I don't think that I would have wanted to look like I had a mug shot when he proposed to me lol

2. You won't be able to stop staring at your hand.  There is a big difference between dreaming about what your dream ring will look like on your hand and to actually have the brand new shiny, bling bling, ring on your finger!!! I know when Martel first placed the ring on my finger, I absolutely could not believe it and it's Day 65 of me being the fiance of Martel and I still haven't stopped looking at my ring. 

Quick Tip: Everyone is going to want to see the ring, so please get a manicure or keep your nails polished up and try not to gawk at your hand while crossing the street or driving lol

3. You will have to tell your proposal story a trillion times! I cannot tell you how many times I have shared our story so far, but it's supposed to be fun to share during the engagement process, but sometimes it can get annoying. The easiest thing to do is to share your story with close friends and then provide the rest of the world with a link of the story. But trust me, I am over the rainbow uper dope excited to be engaged baby baby!!!

4. People will ask you about a wedding date and location before you've had a chance to even think about it!

I know that this part was so crazy to me because I'm like, 'people I just got engaged hello!!!' But anyway, even if you don't know any info just simply say: 'We have plenty of time to plan, right now we are just so excited to be engaged' and don't forget to show the biggest smiley face that you can=)

5. There might be a few sours along the way. There's usually at least one friend or family member who may not come off quite as supportive or elated as the rest of them. If this doesn't happen to you, be thankful, because you're in the minority. I am already experiencing this with my mom and my sisters, but I refuse to let their reactions get to me and I believe that their negative responses are a reflection of them and not me.  So, I won't dwell on negative feedback, but I will focus on the positive, the friends who express their excitement for me, the blessings and the gift of I am getting married!

6. Recently married friends will suddenly become wedding planners, I take that back EVERYONE will become wedding planners, and often times they will give unsolicited advice. If a friend offers wedding planning advice say, "You shouldn't invite kids to your wedding," or anything else that starts with, "You should/shouldn't...", take it in stride. Graciously accept it as a sign of their friendship (there's no need to get defensive). If you agree with the advice, take it; if not, thank them and move on with your plans.

7. You will watch wedding shows and tv shows differently.  I believe that 'Say Yes to the Dress' and 'My Fair Wedding' are my best friends right now lol. I find myself oftentimes just staring at the t.v. like a zombie trying to soak up every minute of what kind of dress I should wear, what kind of wedding we should have, and what party favors to choose for guests. But anyway, this is one of those guilty wedding pleasures that you're totally allowed to indulge in while you're engaged.

8. You'll have a hard time not jumping into wedding planning right away and will find it difficult to 'just enjoy being engaged.' I am a total witness that, within my first two weeks of being engaged, I actually had a meltdown when I tried to start planning early. But after talking with friends who made me come back to my senses of the excitement of the engagement process, I stopped losing my mind=)  Also, it's okay (and good!) to get started early, but PLEASE BE SENSITIVE TO YOUR FIANCE!!! He more than likely just spent a lot of money and time planning out the proposal. So give him a little time to relax if he needs it. But, I do know that for now if you just got engaged like me you can start documenting your proposal story.

9. Your relationship will be different even if you have known your fiance for a couple of years. I have known Martel, as my best friend, since May 4, 2007.  But, now that we are engaged, I am starting to see a whole new side of him that I never thought that I would see in him, and it is making me fall in love with him all over again.  My favorite part is to know that he actually wants to be involved in the wedding planning and I thought that he was going to be one of those guys that would just show up to the wedding lol.

A marriage proposal is exciting, but it's also serious. We have just agreed to commit to one another -- for forever.

So, we are working out the nitty-gritty details that we may have only touched upon when we were dating. We going through a marriage workbook together, reading the Word in a couples' devotional together, exploring the world of marriage through other Godly married couples together, and we have signed up for prewedding counseling, where we will be led through the process by a pro. WE ARE MAKING SURE TO DO EVERYTHING TOGETHER.  I am learning that having worked out hard-to-make decisions together will make the wedding ceremony that much more meaningful for us.

10. Choosing your Maid of Honor, Bridesmaids, and other people for the Bridal party can be harder than you thought.  This process was and still is so hard for me because I know so many people and when I surrendered my life to Christ, I actually gained so many friends that facebook is keeping accountable of them as I type lol. But anyway, I know who I am actually close to so I thank the Lord for my sisters in Christ who will be my Bridesmaids and I am so excited for my honorary maid of honor: my little sister Sydney Henderson and my maid of honor: Amber Walker. I love you all.

Remember, this list is just a few things that I have learned from just being engaged and I am sure this is not the end of the list too=)